Mr Ormskirk looked at me with an expression of horror. ‘I fear that you have been brainwashed by so-called “trendy” educationalists,’ he said in an appalled tone. ‘Is it a mistake? No –English grammar is evolving. Should you bother to obey the rules? No; they’ll probably have changed in a few years’ time. Was it a crime? No –social morality is evolving. Should you bother to obey the laws of the land? No; laws are made to be broken. We could forget the tiresome rules of English grammar. We could cast them aside as awkward obstacles to a more freely creative culture. But what would happen eventually? Communication would suffer. And what is the main purpose of having a language? To communicate. Bereft of its communicative power, a language is worthless; arguably, it ceases to be a language. Suppose, for example, that we all suddenly decided use abbreviations in place of words we didn’t feel like writing out in full. It would BI. No one would be ATUAE. Yes? It would be impossible. No one would be able to understand anyone else.’*

Mr Ormskirk is now retired, but he has not lost his enthusiasm for correctness. Now, however, it is not schoolchildren who constitute his audience, but readers of The Gatshire Gazette, as he has taken it upon himself to fulfil the role of that figure we all know and love, The Man Who Thinks He Could Do A Better Job Than The Editor. An example is one he wrote the other week. Wait a second, I’ll go and get it...